Forget Life Balance
This is another excerpt from the e-book I am working on called “The Mindful Choice: The Psychology of Change.” It is for those of you who want to make a big transition or change to your life. It will be available in the coming weeks.
I often hear people say that they are trying to find balance in their life. A balance between work, life, kids, fun, or any other part of life. I had a mentor challenge me on seeking balance, and he did it in a very powerful way. He had me to stand up and balance on one leg, and then he had me close my eyes. I immediately started to wobble all around and I had difficulty maintaining balance. He asked me if that was the state that I wanted. Did I want to have balance? I had to say “no” because it was difficult to try to maintain my balance in that state. So he asked me if it wasn’t balance that I wanted, then what was it I was really seeking to find? I thought about this question for a long time and the answer that came was harmony.
Since that day I don’t try to maintain balance in my life. It is too difficult to try to keep things all in balance, and we don’t spend time in all the different areas of our life in equal measure. I don’t spend equal time working, playing, with my family, or anything else. The key for me was not to keep everything balanced but to create a sense of harmony amongst all the different activities that make up my life. Making the mindful choice is not a new time management or work-life balance trick. Making the mindful choice is a state of being, and that state of being is to find harmony in your life.
If you spend all of your time trying to keep things balanced, I think you will find that balance is hard work. Living in a state of harmony is much more manageable and has a feeling of ease rather than difficulty. It will also be much easier for you to recognize when something is not right when you are looking to achieve harmony. When something is not harmonious within you, then you can recognize that you need to make a change or re-prioritize. However, when you are in a constant state of trying to maintain balance then it seems like you are always in the place of balancing something, so it becomes much more difficult to become aware of an issue. You may spend more time working trying to get that one thing back in balance, only to neglect it and move on when some other area of your life feels out of balance.
Are you working towards finding balance in your life, or does it make more sense for you to seek harmony? To further your learning on this check out the definition of balance and the definition of harmony.
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